A runner’s dilemma

As far as running goes this year can be summed up in a single word for me, Dilemma.

The dictionary defines a dilemma as a situation necessitating a choice between two equal, or equally undesirable alternatives to a problem that seems incapable of solution.
You may think i’m being a bit melodramatic when I say that the word dilemma sums up my year, or be wondering what sort of dilemma I could possibly have faced as a runner.

The first set of dilemmas I have faced have all been based around a single race, the Lakeland. This started with a relatively small dilemma, do I sign up at all and if I do I sign up to the 50 or the 10 (the longest race i’d ran at that point being 32 miles). Encouraged my Iryna a friend that i’d ran with in India last year, I opted to enter the 100 and we agreed to run together. As time went on it became obvious that I was putting in far more training than Iryna, I faced another little dilemma, should I say something to her, should I question her commitment or her ability, should I suggest that we not run together after all, even though she’d told me that she couldn’t navigate, so I knew if I said I wouldn’t run with her, I might as well be saying the race was over for her. In the end I didn’t say anything and in late July we stood together on the starting line with a 100 mile run infront of us. By the first checkpoint we were in last place and it was becoming more and more obvious that I was facing my biggest dilemma yet, do I stay with my friend and face both of us timing out or do I leave her at the back of the field, in ever darkening surroundings with a very real risk of her getting lost. In the end I guess there was no dilemma at all, safety was always going to come first and I got Iryna got checkpoint 3 where she dropped out. At this point we were 2 hours behind the last runner and very close to the cut off time at the next check point with 7 miles yet to go, so I faced yet another dilemma, do I retire or do I push on alone in the dark with a huge gap to make up. Not being a quitter I pushed on and managed to catch James an american that had been in front, but with only seconds to spare a small navigation error ended up putting an end to my 100 dream.

The other big dilemma that I faced this year (which I guess is probably fairly common amongst runners) was that of, whether to run on an injury and risk making it worse or to take time out to recover and risk not being fit enough to complete the race. In my case this was in the form of a ham string pull sustained during the Blaydon race just six weeks before the Lakeland, meaning i’d miss the peak of my training and go into an extended tapper.

In addition to the big dilemma’s i’m beginning to learnt that running these longer ultras involves facing a series of mini dilemmas; Do you invest your time in travelling to somewhere hilly to train or do you simply run further on flatter ground closer to home, Do you take a little extra kit just in case you need it or do you take the bare minimum to keep your pack as light as possible? Do you push yourself harder that you ought to, to keep the runner in front in sight where navigation may be difficult? Do you follow the runner in front trusting they’re on the right track or do you take the extra time to check the map yourself? Do you go the longer way around to avoid a steeper track? Do you keep running down a track when you’re not 100% sure it the right track ?

At the end of the day, I guess we will always have tough decisions to make, but it’s the way in which we respond to these choices that teaches us the most about ourselves and out priorities, and they allow us to learn from our mistakes and to grow as individuals.

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